Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
