May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Fuck appropriateness.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
