I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
