I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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