Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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