Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize