What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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