Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
did i walk over a car last night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize