With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
