i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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