so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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