just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she looked like the before picture.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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