Swine flu is the new snow day.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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