If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
