If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
