i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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