So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
