So drunk, too bad you don't want this
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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