nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
