Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
