If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
