I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
