I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
