So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
