sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
