You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
