Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
