Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
