You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
