Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
