You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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