There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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