I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nicole vs. Life
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
