My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize