What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
