girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
