I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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