It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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