can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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