Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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