I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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