i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize