I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
