Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
