Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Drake has all the answers
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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