did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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