Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
