It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
