we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
