just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Little spoons don't ask big questions
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
