Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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