I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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