If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
