Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Please don't give away my fajitas
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
