I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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