Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
