Can i not drive my cunt home
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
