you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
