Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize