Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
