Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i came on her dog
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
