I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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