upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
