To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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