I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
