im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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