Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
