so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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