if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
