I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
