Your tits are I can't wait for
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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