He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
