my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
