i don't like sucking hair
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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