Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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