you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just pee around me
The feeling are messing with the penis
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
