took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
