I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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