Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
