Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
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