It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
